Honoring Our Parents

Deuteronomy 5:6-21

This week’s Old Testament reading from the Lectionary of The Book of Common Prayer contains Moses going over the Ten Commandments a second time with the people of Israel, right before they would enter the Promised Land.  Rather than just briefly touch on each commandment, I will focus more on just one, the commandment to honor your father and your mother (vs 16). As we look across society today all around the world, we see that this is one commandment that is frequently neither followed nor respected by people of any age.

When we are children we need to obey our parents, except if what they said to do was in direct violation of a command of God.  As adults we are to honor our parents. That should continue even after their death. Adult children honor their parents by showing respect, both face-to-face, and when speaking of them to others.  They also honor their parents by providing for them financially if they need the help, and by caring for them when they are ill and unable to care for themselves.

Another way we can honor our parents is by respecting them for the wisdom and education many of them have gotten throughout their life.  By doing so we can benefit from learning from their mistakes, and not repeating them. If you are fortunate enough to have parents who are believers, you honor them by passing on their faith and godly values to their grandchildren and further generations.

This commandment is the first commandment that comes with a promise. Honoring one’s parents is God’s way to build strong families. This command is also repeated in the New Testament by Paul in his letter to the Ephesians (Ephesians 6:1-3).  The honor we show our parents should be an overflow of our love for Christ.

Scattered throughout the Scriptures are a number of unfortunate examples of children who neither honored nor respected their parents.  One example are the two sons of Eli the priest, Hophni and Phinehas, who disobeyed and dishonored their father (I Samuel 2:12-17, 22-25).  Another example was King David’s son, Absalom. He dishonored his father, tried to turn the people against him, and attempted to overthrow his throne (II Samuel 15:1-6, 10-12). Each of these men came to a very sad ending, which would have been avoided if they had only honored their parents.

Jesus, on the other hand, showed honor to His parents.  Even from the cross, as He was dying, Jesus made sure His mother was provided for.  Jesus entrusted her into the care of the Apostle John (John 19:26-27).

What about the many people who do not have godly, or even good parents? There are millions of people around the world who have parents who physically, emotionally, and/or sexually abused them. Or they had parents who were criminals or did other degenerate behavior. How are they supposed to honor their parents? God certainly does not want us to follow their path or their example. Sometimes one must even completely separate from those parents in order to keep that behavior from affecting your Christian life. However, that doesn’t mean we need to go around and speak ill of them to everyone.  Instead, we speak of them to the Lord in prayer, and He sees our grieving heart for our parents. One can also find a godly older mentor who has helped and influenced our Christian walk, and show them parental honor.

If we want to be true followers of Jesus, we cannot pick and choose what commands we want to obey.  The Ten Commandments are God’s clear will for us to obey. Let us find it in our hearts to obey the Lord our God.