Christian Families

Ephesians 5:21-33

Today’s Scripture passage, dealing with the relationships of husbands and wives, has been a very sensitive and touchy one for many.  This, I believe, is because of a misunderstanding and misapplying of these verses. Rather than just getting angry and tossing this passage out, let’s take a closer look, and see what the Lord is saying here.

Many people have disliked this, and other similar passages of Scripture because of the idea of a wife being told to submit to her husband.  They feel this is an antiquated and male chauvinistic attitude, especially in today’s world. I do not believe that this is what the Lord intended when He inspired Paul in the writing of Ephesians.  There are many who have distorted the teaching of submission by giving unlimited authority and dictatorship to husbands. That has never been the Lord’s intention.

First, in our passage Paul speaks of each of us submitting to one another, not just women to men (vs 21).  Submitting to others does not mean becoming a doormat. Jesus submitted His will to the Father. We honor Him by following His example.  Submitting to others is to follow Jesus’s example of being a servant and subordinating our rights to others. Our reverence for God is our basis for submission to others.  In a marriage, both husband and wife are called to submit.  If both partners have a strong relationship with Christ this shouldn’t be a difficulty, each being concerned with the happiness of the other. All believers are equal in Christ (Galatians 3:28).

Real spiritual leadership involves service.  Just as Jesus Christ served the disciples, even washing their feet, so should we submit to and serve our spouses.  A Christ-honoring husband will not take advantage of this, and a Christ-honoring wife will not undermine her husband.  Her supreme submission is to the Lord.

The husband’s love for his wife is to be a reflection of Christ’s loving care for the Church (vs 25).  Jesus delivers the Church from the dangers of sin, death and hell. Likewise the husband should provide for, protect, and love his wife. Marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and the Church. The husband is to love his wife just as Jesus Christ loves the Church.  He should love them with the same unreserved, selfless, and sacrificial love Jesus has. He should be willing to sacrifice everything for her. When a husband cares for his wife as he cares for his own body, no wife would hesitate to submit to one who treats her this way.

Marriage is a holy union, a living symbol, a precious relationship that needs tender self-sacrificing care.  We should submit to each other by choice. Mutual submission preserves order and harmony in the family, with love and respect. Care for your spouse as you care for yourself, anticipating their needs. Help the other person become all they can be. Every married couple would wish for their marriage to succeed, and we all want our families to thrive.  Following God’s plan should be our first step.