Today’s Scripture from the Lectionary of The Book of Common Prayer, is one that is likely to cause controversy, likely to ruffle the feathers of a number of folk. These verses in the Bible, along with similar verses, such as Colossians 3:18, and I Peter 3:1-6, have angered many women since at least the 1960’s and onward. The reason for the dislike of our Scripture today, along with those other Scriptures, is that both the Apostles Paul and Peter instruct women to submit to their husbands. Since the days of the women’s lib movement, women have hated that, some even going so far as to tear those pages out of the Bible. However, they are a part of God’s Word, so let’s take a look at what the Lord has to say.
Women have taken issue with these verses because they say that the wife is to submit to her husband. They feel that this gives the husband the right to rule it over the wife, and no one wants that. And what if one has an abusive husband? Is the wife expected to obey them? These were all problems that led women to reject these verses.
As we look into this passage, we see that it isn’t just about women submitting to their husbands, we see that the husband is told that he is to love his wife, just as Christ loves the church. There are actually more verses, more than half of the passage, that focus on what the husband is supposed to do in the marriage.
Actually, the first verse in our passage tells us that we all are to submit one to another, the wife to the husband and the husband to the wife, along with others in our community (vs. 21). We balk at this, as no one wants to submit. No one wants to sacrifice their supposed rights and freedom. No one wants to follow God’s design, even if it is good for us.
It isn’t just about women submitting to men. God wants each of us to consider the other first, to be looking out for the needs and best interests of others before those of ourselves. Instead of always wanting to be the one in control, consider the other person first. Even though we might be reluctant to, believers should submit to their husband, wife, and others out of reverence for Jesus Christ.
Submitting to one’s husband, or to anyone else isn’t giving in to a bully or to abuse. No where in the Bible is abusive treatment to others approved or condoned. Submission carries the idea of “yielding to” or “deferring to out of respect”. God’s Word, the Bible, calls wives to voluntarily submit to their husbands in context to their relationship to the Lord Jesus. And the husbands are to love their wives, to model the kind of self-sacrificial love that Christ has for the church.
Many women will question how they can submit to their husband, especially if they feel that they “know more” than they feel he does. And many husbands question how they can love their wife when she is such a temperamental woman. However, if we love the Lord Jesus, and desire to follow in His footsteps, we will seek the Holy Spirit’s power to both love and submit to one another.
Family members should treat each other with respect and humility. Husbands and wives are to treat each other in a similar way to how they treat the Lord. When members of a family make it a priority to serve one another and look out for one another, to think of others more highly than themselves, they become the family that God intended. This is the way the Lord intends family relationships to be, not a way to rule over and enslave one another. Let’s try to make our family a picture of what the Lord Jesus intends, a picture of heaven.
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